The Birth Story Of Thaddeus Noir
Monique | Monday, May 13, 2013 at 9:31PM It was Wednesday, and in keeping with the many Wednesdays before it, we celebrated by welcoming another week of pregnancy. A big week; thirty nine.
This was certain to be the last weekly progression because in two days time, at 5:45 in the morning, I was due to arrive at the hospital where my scheduled Cesarean would be taking place. We were more than ready for that day, even though things were beginning to move...
On Sunday, the 5th, my contractions started to feel much different than what I was used to and made me tremendously uncomfortable. We took a quick trip to the hospital to see what was going on; My cervix, though it remained high and closed, had gone from "fortress" to "very soft" - I was in early labor!
The softening was a difference, but it wasn't dilation and we were sent home where the contractions and cramping continued irregularly.
On Tuesday, the 7th, after a couple of painful days and restless nights - I had discovered some bloody show. As instructed, I gave a call to Labor & Delivery. Since the contractions were irregular, and not terribly painful the on call suggested I stay home and relax - but reminded me that if the contractions DID become regular to call in immediately because it sounded like my cervix was effacing or dilating.
On Wednesday, the 8th, I'd woken in the usual discomfort of the recent days, but at around 1:30 in the afternoon noticed that the contractions had become more difficult to sit through and felt like they were regular. I timed them for about an hour and they were 5-6 minutes apart, lasting about a minute.
I sighed then.
I knew I'd have to go to the hospital for an evaluation, and I definitely did not want to have to go back to the hospital the next day for pre-admission testing and then again the next day for Baby's actual birth - but that's precisely what I saw happening.
I chalked it up and gave L&D a call. I knew I couldn't risk waiting, and sure enough I was asked to go in.
There were a few setbacks and almost two hours later I finally walked out of the house alone and made my way to the hospital.
It began as every trip typically did, but with sprinklings of good news; IF I was sent home, I could get the pre-admission tests done before being discharged, saving me a hospital trip, and - best of all, Dr. Terrific was on call. I was told that he may opt not to deliver since I'm obviously not with his practice, which I completely understood.
Baby looked great on the monitor, and I was having contractions every 1-2 minutes. Dr. Terrific came in and asked "How are we feeling about singing 'Happy Birthday' to your baby today?" to which I muttered a string of approving words and prepared myself for the eventual let down of that not happening.
He and I talked more about going into delivery, but with no absolutes. He'd asked about the tubal ligation and I told him that the paperwork was never completed in time, he gave a quizzical look and said he'd check on that and then dashed out. My cervix wasn't checked, I was a little disheartened, at least then either way I'd have a clear answer as to what we were doing.
While he was out a nurse came in with IV workings and that's when I broke out of my fog. There was no significant reason for having an IV placed, unless they were trying to space out my contractions - which they wouldn't do at this point and without knowing the state of my cervix - I was being prepped for surgery.
Dr. Terrific came back in and said that we could do the tubal, there is a clause with a loophole and I'd fit the conditions, all I needed to do was consent and so I did. He left the room again and I hesitated to send any news to Christian - I knew I was getting a tubal at least, but whether that meant for today or Friday, I had no clear idea.
Dr. Terrific came back in and had me sign more forms, I was a little overwhelmed by then, the nurse who did my IV tried putting it in my left hand first and the vein burst causing immediate swelling and an excruciating pain, the contractions were still on top of each other and I wasn't sure if I needed to call in the cavalry.
Then, as if reading my mind, Dr. Terrific asked if everyone who was supposed to be here was here, as he waved his arms over the empty chairs in the room, and I nervously declared that they were not. When he told me to contact them, my heart jumped out of its cage and flew out the window. He told me that everything looked fine, there was no emergency and that we'd go to the OR in 50 minutes.
More than enough time for Christian to get to me - I sent him an email in all caps from my Kindle {my phone broke last week and I never ordered a new one} and he responded immediately. Then, for good measure, I asked the nurse; "Am I... having. a. baby?" and she smiled and said yes. "He's not gonna change his mind? I'm really having a baby?" a no, and then another yes.
Less than an hour until I met my son, it was finally T. Time!
Or rather, it was finally T. Time like TWO HOURS LATER!
Thaddeus Noir {translates to "courageous heart of black"} arrived at 10:02pm on Wednesday May 8th 2013 at 39 weeks gestation.
Our heaviest baby at 6 pounds, 8 ounces. He was 17 3/4 inches long.
And worth every nanosecond of wait.
While we were all set to go into surgery at 8pm, there was an emergency appendectomy that took precedence, so instead Christian and I settled in for the longest two hour wait I have ever experienced in my life!
When we got to the OR I was immediately taken aback by how small the room was. Usually they are huge, bright and foreboding, this was just as foreboding and bright but with the added feel of claustrophobia. The team was buzzing about, not in a rushed way, but given the size of the room it certainly felt that way.
I did not get a chance to feel comfortable with it. I was glad to have Christian there the whole time since usually he's not allowed in until after the spinal. The anesthesiologist step by step informed me of the spinal process and it made me anticipate it and it hurt the most out of any spinal before.
The beeps from the machines sounded too close and too loud, I was anxious listening to my own heartbeat accelerate and decelerate and I didn't remember ever feeling so much pressure in my chest. I had some moments of total panic, but Christian, as usual, held my hand and told me that I was doing just fine, I'd be okay, everything was going well.
Luckily, Doctors Terrific and Why Are You Scrunching Your Face At Me Like That did NOT explain the process of the Cesarean, and I was able to force myself to calm down at least a little bit. In less time than I expected, I felt that all too familiar pressure and heard the smallest gurgle.
I looked over at Christian, who looked back at me and nodded, that gurgle was our son's - and then I cried.
The little sounds grew into plaintive wails and he made his arrival known.
After a crushing miscarriage and uncertainty regarding trying for another child, finding out I was pregnant two seconds after we chose to try again, worrying almost the entire pregnancy about whether a baby would be placed in my arms, contractions, cramping, bedrest, confusion, a vast collection of hospital bracelets from countless visits, the disharmonious theft of my precious potatoes... after all of this, he was here.
Thaddeus had arrived, he made it.
And I finally got to meet him.
They took him to the nursery for the rest of the newborn procedures, Christian followed. Once the tubal ligation was completed and I was mended, both doctors congratulated me and I was wheeled to my room where Christian met up with me shortly after.
Thaddeus was experiencing some rapid breathing so they were giving him a bit of a closer look in the nursery. While we waited for him to join us, we looked at pictures and marveled over how much he looked like all three boys, all of his hair and we high fived his making it to six pounds.
After a few minutes, the Tupperware rolled into the room and my Prince was placed in my arms to nurse. His face was swollen and puffy, his eyes were still goopy and since they'd skipped his bath, his hair was still matted with remnants of womb.
He was still stunningly beautiful.
The next afternoon, and after a much needed first bath, our bigger boys met their baby brother!
They approved the eventual transfer home.
And home seems to welcome the new addition.
It has been a few days and though we are certainly feeling the transition, we are also enjoying a lot of it.
Separately, Severus and Thaddeus are champion nursers, together they are a pro duo - making tandem breastfeeding much easier than I anticipated it would be - but also difficult ways I hadn't expected. The crusade to cloth diapering is not as easy as I, maybe naively, thought it would be. Though, being such novices makes for some priceless laughable moments - and they're even starting to grow on Christian.
I'm having a great recovery so far, I was ready to leave the hospital as soon as I got there but had made it a priority not to look at my stay as an inconvenience. The outlook changed the quality of my experience dramatically. I was glad that I put the nurses basket together. It made me feel great to give them something for their putting up with me for so long with such patience.
And now, our childbearing days have come to a close, our family completed, a new journey begun.
I birthed my first child in 2003 and now, ten years later, my last.
What wondrous gifts this decade has given me, and what a phenomenal life of amazement I lead because of them.
"Blessed" barely begins to cover it.
