To The One Who Made Me A Mother, On Her Seventh Birthday
Monique | Friday, December 31, 2010 at 3:00AM Dear Samara,
You are seven years old today.
The years went by too quickly. And I've missed so much.
I've missed so many of your accomplishments, I've missed every sporting event, I've missed all but one special day.
For the first time, in a long time, I am looking forward to a new year. Because I know that this is the last time, you will spend your birthday without us.
But for now, my Princess, we are apart and it breaks my heart into a hundred trillion thousand little pieces.
Seven years ago, you changed me from an empty shell of a woman, into a mother and I was filled with love for you. I relished in every movement you made when you were born. I loved to hear you coo, and I cried so hard it scared you, the very first time I heard you laugh. I'm still sorry for that.
I remember our late nights, for no good reason I'd wander into the living room and put on Afterglow and I'd dance with you until my knees got weak, my arms ached and we were both soaked in my tears.
I had no idea what I'd gotten myself into. I had no idea what love felt like, until the day you were born.
And then, I bore you siblings.
And I watched you grow from my only child, into a big sister. A role you fulfill beautifully. You always want to help, you shared your toys even when they were too small to play with them, a day didn't go by without you hugging them a hundred times.
I know it's difficult for you now, you feel like it's them and then it's you. But it isn't. You are just as much my world, and the light of my life, as your brothers are.
Your silly nature, your beautiful {albeit difficult} shyness, your complete, utter ability to love everyone you know... I admire you. I am fascinated by how wonderful you are. Seven years of awe...
I know we are too far. We're too far for you to meet your new baby brother, too far to watch you open your gifts and read your cards aloud, we're too far to watch you blow out the candles on your birthday cake. My love, we are rectifying this in 2011... So that we'll recreate our family around you and once again share a life together.
Until then, all I can do is hope that the immeasurable magnitude of love we have for you crosses over, under and around every state that lies between us, and touches your heart always, and most especially today.
Happy 7th Birthday sweet, beautiful Baby Bean! We love and miss you in bunches.
Love,
Mommy
Reader Comments (3)
OMG SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMARA!
<3 <3 <3
What a beautiful letter to your daughter!
She is absolutly beautiful. Hope u get to be closer to her this year!
Your new friend (maybe) @pinkdiamondmama aka Tricia
This made me tear up a little bit. She's so beautiful and I'm so happy for you that you will all be together soon!