One
Monique | Monday, October 10, 2011 at 12:00AM {Grow with him! Birth Story, 1 Month, 2 Months, 3 Months, 4 Months, 5 Months, 6 Months, 7 & 8 Months, 9 Months, 10 Months, 11 Months.}
Dear Severus Danger,
Today you are one.
Please pardon my wailing, I'm so sorry for crying all over you.
I assure you, I am crying tears of joy.
It's hard to explain how I feel today, on your first birthday. I am sad at how unbelivably fast it has gone, I am amazed at all you have accomplished... and there's more.
You are the reason we have the family we do today.
Severus...
When we first found out that you were on the way, I was hysterical.
I had reclaimed who I was, the brave, outgoing woman I needed and wanted to be.
I was working very hard, and hearing so many great things about my work, at a job I liked a lot.
Your father and I were married, finally, but our happiness was almost non existent and I had no desire to fix us.
Reunited with your brothers, I'll be honest, I didn't care about much else.
I was horribly selfish. Miserable. Angry.
Your father and I weren't sure what we would do as I cried on the floor on my knees, feeling as if the ground had just opened up beneath me and swallowed me into a dark abyss.
I wasn't ready.
I wasn't ready to face the blood draws, the preterm labor, the failing marriage, the expense, having to share my time between four children - one still too far away. I wasn't ready to have another being entirely dependent on me.
But there you were.
A bean, a blueberry, a kumquat, an avocado, a pineapple...
A baby boy.
As we grew together,
so did your father and I.
We fought hard for us, for our family, and before too long - everything changed.
You strengthened us. You saved us.
There are no words to thank you for that.
Your father and I have never loved one another more, and our marriage today is exceptional, our family - incredible, because of you.
I was flustered, I was grouchy, our pregnancy was riddled with complications, and you were ultimately born healthy, at a couple of days shy of 37 weeks.
We were ecstatic to the maximum!
I remember the happiness, and at the same time - the overwhelming worry, I felt at the sound of your cries.
Your birth was the eye of my anxiety storm. Pregnancy was over, phew, but now we had to battle the first year scares.
I worried more than I had ever worried.
But you were lovely, quelling so many of my fears.
So often calm and quiet. Your brothers would ask why you didn't cry, family would ask if you ever cried, and we'd smile, feeling more than blessed. Your temperament was a such a gift.
Though you did yell, occasionally...
It was never for very long. And it was usually because someone was pissing you off.
Like Mommy.
I know that I'm biased, but I find you to be most magnificent. And watching you grow has been an immense and spectacular sight.
I've seen you change in hundreds of ways. Going from the tiny boy who was only awake for five minutes at a time,
to a bigger boy who sat up, rolled over and giggled,
to what you are today - an almost perfectly walking, big boy with four teeth who says "button" and "wow", with your fierce "Peek a Boo" skills.
{Chilling with the beautiful, CMoney.}
You've captured the hearts of your entire family, everyone you've met, smiled at, and so many people who only know you from this blog. You are very loved.
This year has been astonishing, you have given our life a renewed fervor and I can't imagine our life without you.
I think about how you'll change as you continue to grow, what your first sentence will be, which book will be your favorite, will you have a best friend, will I properly scare away your girlfriends, what will you be when you grow up?
So many things to wonder about you, my Prince.
But today.
You are one.
The tears are streaming down my face, I am so proud of you, so grateful for you, I love you more with every moment that passes.
Happy First Birthday, BooBooKaBooBoo!
Reader Comments (7)
I absolutely love it! ♥
This is wonderful. I'm right there with you crying. That'll be me in just a few short months.
Happy Birthday to him. You have such a beautiful family :)
Thank you all! :D
What a beautiful post! I'm all teary-eyed. Happy birthday to your little man! <3
Awwww...so sweet! Happy first birthday to your beautiful baby boy!
I. Love. This.!!! Happy Birthday Severus!!!