How 'Bout Some Knife In Your Neck?
Monique | Wednesday, March 14, 2012 at 3:24AM I was 10 seconds away from selling my BlogHer ticket yesterday afternoon.
Forced to explain what the word "dick" meant, when unthinking, I shouted it at my Twitter stream and Caesar promptly repeated it, I was sure I was donezo.
Kristin, plagiarized. There's no getting around it, that's what was done, and wrong it was indeed - worsened by her own lame excuses.
But! She jacked the content of big, huge blogger, Amalah.
Kristin gets job at Babble, recycles post with plagiarized content within, creates hullabaloo because of some contest, gets 'investigated' and now she is labeled a thief.
From what I assume {and I am readily admitting I only assume this}, there was a private exchange of emails between the two women, until Amalah publicly posted the exchange on her blog, outing the debacle but only vaguely suggesting who the culprit was. Her community got involved and outed Kristin.
There are ways to express your disgust for the situation without being cryptic, if you're going to be bold enough to post the exchange and warn people - you might as well go all the way.
I feel like Amalah knew what she was doing. She wasn't simply making people aware of the situation, she was releasing the hounds and siccing them on Kristin.
After Amalah's post, and I'm sure spurred by it, Kristin apologized for the wrongdoing on her own blog.
That right there, should have signalled the end, but didn't. What followed instead, was a disgusting spewage of viciousness.
Kristin admitted she should not have claimed the content. Apologized. Lost a paid writing gig, and will have great trouble procuring new ones. She has undoubtedly lost a lot of respect within the community, hoards of subscribers possibly, and will have to rebuild from this fiasco and regain the trust of her readers. I believe I read that someone even went so far as to email her sponsors to inform them of the atrocity.
Apparently though, this woman was not quite burned to a suitable crisp - because now there's a meme, there are still people calling her the nastiest names, criticising her parenting, wishing ill things upon her and her family, and continuing to push the issue to a sickening extreme.
Worse even is that Amalah thanked Kristin for her apology and then continued on, making remarks along the lines of "Don't steal this tweet!", when she's fanning the flames how are they supposed to die down? When do the hounds stop chomping at the bit?
Plagiarism is awful, it's effing illegal for glob's sake - and in this time of caches, screenshots and social media, it's a stupid idea, no doubt. I really don't want to make light of that, I'd lawyer up in a heartbeat if my words or pictures were stolen. And, yes. I know firsthand that Kristin is not the kindest person in the 'sphere.
However, how much better of a person are you? Calling her an 'idiot'? Threatening her? Telling her that she needs to 'get offline', if she wants to enjoy her current pregnancy, her life, her family? That behavior, bullying - in my opinion, is far more repulsive.
Hold her accountable, absolutely - rightfully she lost a job, should lose her sponsorships and should have to climb up from the bottom again. Call that 'Karma' if you wish, but even she doesn't deserve to be decimated to nothing. The vehement rabidity is unjustifiable.
Here's MY thing...
A friend and I recently discussed how gross the state of blogging is currently, bear with me as I digress a little;
I very rarely come across opportunities on my own - usually because I don't look for them. But my first instinct when I do find them, is to pass them along to someone I think will benefit from them. If someone asks me a question about blogging, I may not be an expert but I've been blogging since long before this blog {and even my children} was born, so I do know quite a bit - I answer. You need help making a button? A masthead? Need to tweak your PHP? I can do that. You got it. No problem.
That doesn't mean I don't value my skills, or my knowledge, it just means I'm willing to share what I know with someone who may be struggling and I don't see where or how that's a problem. This is, after all, a community.
But how often do I get that in return? Not. Much.
I'm so grateful for the people who never fail to answer my questions or provide me with leads when I ask for them, because between envy and selfishness - most bloggers don't bother. At least they don't for free. Bloggers with superiority complexes make me cackle. You're a blogger - not a God. You are not entitled to more than 'small bloggers' because you get 10,000 pageviews a week, or because you've fooled your hundreds of readers into thinking you do it all, and looking at you as an inspiration, because you never mention your housekeeper.
I'm about to go to a conference with hundreds of bloggers who think it's okay to degrade someone so callously, like they aren't even fellow humans. Bloggers who will smile in your face, and exchange business cards just to gain another pageview, another 'like', another follower and never reciprocate. Bloggers who won't share a crumb with another, let alone invite them to their bountiful table. Bloggers who are willing to present a facade of who they are just to earn a dollar. This is the community I'm a part of?
I didn't sell my BlogHer ticket and, unless something drastic happens in my personal life, I likely won't. {The Spotted Pig's Gnudi and I have a hot date planned.}
But I'm already terrified of what I'll witness and experience, when these bloggers convene in person.
Update: Please also read the addendum and thank you, here.
*Title of this entry taken from "Penny" a fictional character in the cartoon series titled "Adventure Time". Just in case.
Reader Comments (18)
Thank you for stating it so eloquently. I've been reading blogs since before they were called blogs. I hesitated starting one for the longest time, not just because no would be read it, but because I've seen this "community" be so ugly and attack one another. I didn't want to be a part of the drama, the bullying, the meanness. I'm trying to keep my interactions positive and remember that there are good bloggers and bad bad bloggers. That bloggers are just show what they want to. I think she's hilarious but it says a lot about her character that Amalah fanned the flames instead of calling off the dogs.
Well, don't sell your ticket because as long as I am going you will be fine. I dealt with a lot of haters at Blogher last year. No one with the balls to say anything to me but looks, stares, TWEETS. Im sorry that I happen to be attractive and I know it but its San Diego and Im wearing a cute dress. Please excuse me if that makes you feel badly about yourself. It was so high school. SO MAD that I looked good. Im not afraid to say it either. ANYWAY
I didnt even know who Amalah was before this but have met Kristin and her husband before. You and I can discuss it privately but all ill say publicly is it says a whole lot about Babble and their "writers".
Well put. When it comes down to it, this is just another incarnation of the Queen Bees/Mean Girls thing that we all pretend we left in high school. Keep doing what you're doing and hopefully people will follow.
Hi
I follow you on Twitter and am a blogger in the UK. Often we see things in the UK a year or so after they happen in the US blogging community and I sincerely hope we never see this sort of thing. As a pro writer, I'm no fan of plagiarism, but hounding and bullying someone doesn't make anyone look good, least of all those leading the charge. Great post.
This is perfect. It's amazing to see so many of the same folks who are quick to shop at JCPenneys because of injustice towards Ellen turn so nasty towards another woman. She was wrong. No doubt about it. But the behavior of the mob is sickening.
I found out about it not from Amalah but from a news source online - it was a very public firing and one that was very well deserved. I think Amy handled it well give the circumstances. She's not a bully because she doesn't like her content being stolen - and she has the right to write about it. Honestly, if you are going to steal from a blogger, big or small, you are seriously misled if you think they aren't going to write about it. Plus, Kristin was fired for plagiarism before. This was not a one time deal or isolated mistake. I don't feel sorry for her at all. If you steal from someone, you have to pay the price, no matter how big the consequences are. If you don't like consequences, DON'T STEAL.
You'll notice that the main "mob" is mostly all MamaPop writers. I don't think this is a coincidence. It's the same group of people. And yeah, they've beat the horse senseless. That being said.... they do not define who goes to BlogHer. There are NOT hundreds of them. You'll run into their group at Sparklecorn and besides that, you may not even see them at all. Go to Blogher and make it what you want it to be, don't let ANYONE define that weekend for you but you.
What i've learned, that is so very valuable to me, is that it's up to ME to decide who I read, who i follow on twitter, and who I seek out at a blogging conference. What happened yesterday wasn't a first for this industry and it won't be a last. The anonymity of the Internet allows us to be complete assholes, no matter what the subject. Not one person is not guilty of this.
What happened yesterday sucked for everyone involved and I watched, and laughed and then moved on. I let it go. It wasn't about me, it wasn't about a friend, and I could care less. Letting go of shit you aren't involved in will always help you feel better. Things may not be right about it, but unless its in your lap, you have the opportunity to not let it bother you in the slightest. It's not your life and how that chick feels today, tomorrow, and every day after means nothing in your every day life. She got back what she put into the universe, ten fold, that I really do believe.
Wow, that comment ended up long! Sorry!
"I'm about to go to a conference with hundreds of bloggers who think it's okay to degrade someone so callously, like they aren't even fellow humans. Bloggers who will smile in your face, and exchange business cards just to gain another pageview, another 'like', another follower and never reciprocate. Bloggers who won't share a crumb with another, let alone invite them to their bountiful table. Bloggers who are willing to present a facade of who they are just to earn a dollar. This is the community I'm a part of?"
You raise a lot of great points. I know we discussed this briefly on Twitter yesterday, and you're right: after Kristin apologized and Amy accepted, it should have been dropped there - as you said, Kristin dug a big enough hole for herself and will have trouble climbing out of it. As soon as you used the word "bullying," I saw this from a different perspective. Thanks for making me think. <3
"Go to Blogher and make it what you want it to be, don't let ANYONE define that weekend for you but you." Yeah! What she said! Also, people should just be professional. Don't plagiarize, and simply distance yourself from someone who does. Let's start acting like grownups, shall we?
This is, from what I understand, a recurring problem with this particular blogger. I think that she SHOULD have been publicly outed from the start, as privately taking her to task has, apparently, not caused her to change her habit of stealing content from others.
The public reaction was possibly a little more...vocal? Harsh? Than it would have been otherwise, if she and her husband hadn't so publicly led the torches and pitchforks against another blogger for what many would see as a lesser offense. Right or wrong, I suspect that some residual anger from that clustermess bled over into this.
Agreed, I was talking to my husband last night about this and said that, sure she should have lost her job and plagiarism is not cool, but isn't this the thing we teach our kids not to do. I only saw a little bit yesterday morning and felt ill and did not come back to the Internet until I was sure it was over. I saw a picture on the Internet the other day it said. THINK before you speak. .. Is it true, is it helpful, is it inspiring, is it necessary, is it kind? We could all use a little more thinking before speaking/typing don't you think?
Saw this on Chibi Jeebs' FB. I commented there:
I enjoyed BlogHer, but I do know some of the 'important' people, I guess...I talked with one woman at a cocktail party who said she'd been at lunch, asked if she could sit with a table of people, and they said yes--and then proceeded to ignore her & talk amongst themselves!!! Gob-smacking. That said, I don't want to be in NYC for crazy-heat-time again, thanks. San Diego's weather was perfect! & I've definitely heard about bad behavior from several bloggers. :-(
I don't know the two bloggers involved, but I totally get what you're saying. Did the one plagiarize? Yes. Did she need to apologize? Yes. Do people need to stretch it out and turn it into drama? Hell to the no. I think what you said hits it right on the head. It happened, it got squared away, now move on. It makes me proud to read your blog knowing you feel this way. And I've unfollowed a few bloggers who are participating in the hate. I have better things to do with my time than to feed into that kind of bad behavior.
why can't i remember who penny is?
I just sent this link out AGAIN because her husband is being harassed because he stepped in to defend her. I hope companies are watching what their ladies are capeable of and choosing not to participate.