Breastfeeding During Pregnancy: Some Personal Experiences
Monique | Sunday, January 6, 2013 at 11:55AM If breastfeeding offends thee, look away.
Severus and I have made it more than halfway through pregnancy with the Little Raven and are STILL breastfeeding! Squee!
I consider this a huge success, I conceived Caesar and Mercutio while still breastfeeding and scare tactics and misinformation led me to wean before we wanted to. This time I was absolutely intent on sticking with it.
So here's some stuff I learned, personal experience and things you should keep in mind about breastfeeding while pregnant {if you want to, I mean, no pressure}.
{Disclaimer: I am not an expert, I have no certifications, and your experience may be super different.}
You will likely be dissuaded: At all of my first prenatal appointments, breastfeeding was discouraged, but a reason was never given as to why until I finally asked the midwife I met with this last time. She hesitated and said that I wouldn't keep any nutrients for myself, I'd end up weak, exhausted and completely unable to function in a normal capacity. Then she noted that Severus was two and had gotten all he was going to get out of breastfeeding anyway.
I told her respectfully, that unless there was a pressing and serious reason to wean Severus, that I was not going to do so. Because here are the facts;
While yes, I did feel like I couldn't function in a normal capacity, I attributed that to it being the first trimester. I don't know too many people who have woken up bright eyed and bushy tailed during the first trimester, but I can tell you that I have never been one of them.
I am breastfeeding a toddler, not a newborn, he didn't need nor often demand, nursing every hour. By this point we were breastfeeding at most, 6 times a day and I'm sure I'd be able to handle it if he went on a food strike during sickness. I wasn't really concerned about losing a butt ton of nutrients to Severus.
If your diet is balanced, you take your prenatal vitamins {or you supplement the additional needed nutrients with fruits and veggies - yes, you can do this} you CAN and WILL make enough nutrients, and hoard enough calories, for the three of you.
Toddlers don't magically stop gaining benefits from breastfeeding the moment they turn two years old. Come on, son.
Because I have to meet with several doctors at this practice {which was unusual for me, but I actually appreciate getting to meet with all of them this way} I decided that I would not bring up breastfeeding again, unless I was asked and not one other person has thus far acknowledged it.
It hurts like a muh': Somehow I managed to make it through the tender first trimester like a champ! I regained my energy and my desire to live again, the morning sickness was gone, the baby was growing properly and I was gaining adequate weight, but the BEST news of all was that my blood was perfectly okay {I also suffer from anemia, which I thought might play a factor, but did and has not}.
I secretly gloated to myself about how awesome I was for stickin' it to the man, and then Karma came around and punched me in the buns.
It hurts. It hurts so bad.
And I don't mean just those times when Severus wants to hang from my neck, with one foot leaning against my nose and the other at the top of my head so that he can nurse upside down. I mean, always. There is always pain from either one or both breasts.
I recommend warm or cool compresses {you'll have to guess which ones the tenderness responds to each day, always a blast}, hot showers, and keeping partners as far away from your breasts as possible {especially if they are the squeezy type}. But even that will not quell the fiery flaming liquid hell that emits from your nipple when your child begins to nurse, it's like let down pain all over again.
You don't suck for weaning, or wanting to wean: Contrary to what some may believe, you are not the worst human being if you decide to wean.
A lot of women I've spoken to have confessed that they didn't feel well nourished, the stress of keeping up with home, growing a baby, taking vitamins, watching their diet and nursing an older child was too much, and they stopped nursing because of it. And that is perfectly okay. Don't feel guilty about it, and as long as you don't place "blame" on the new baby {We have to keep baby brother/sister healthy... etc} they won't feel displaced. Toddlers understand a lot more than we give them credit for, they know your body is changing, and if you make them a part of your pregnancy they will rejoice in it, rather than rebel, even when baby gets here.
You may even feel totally touched out. A day of your tummy being rubbed, your uterus being kicked, the usual pregnancy pains and discomforts and every day happenings is frequently, just too damn much. And the last thing you want to think about is calming down so you can sit and deal with toddler gymnurstics and a nursing session so painful it makes you wish you had detachable breasts. You don't feel like being touched at all, let alone being tweaked by a nursing child who can't settle.
It's okay to tell them that you can't nurse right now, and find them something else to do instead {Severus opts to play in a mound of flour, or make shapes in dry rice, and if all else fails - the paints will come out}. Give yourself some time to cool off, and by the time they've finished the activity, you may be ready to nurse again.
Sometimes it just doesn't work out! If you're experiencing a complicated, or high risk, pregnancy you may have to stop breastfeeding, and guess what? That's okay too.
For a lot of women, these feelings of having, or wanting, to stop breastfeeding include a lot of guilt {I STILL fight with it sometimes}. Don't let it sabotage you, you've done very well and your babies love you.
Severus and I have cut it down to nursing twice a day now, at nap time {if there is one} and at bedtime. Every once in a while he will ask to nurse at some random point during the day, and if I'm unable to distract him, or he needs the comfort I will nurse him without hesitation {or minimal hesitation, because, ouch}.
Some additional stuff you should know.
Breastfeeding can cause Braxton Hicks - which is why Severus and I have cut back. I experience Braxton Hicks contractions regularly, that occasionally become very painful. Nursing and nipple stimulation, as you may well already know, produce the hormone Oxytocin which causes contractions. Nursing as normal will very likely not produce the kinds of contractions to send you into labor, especially if your body is just not ready for it {which is why sometimes nipple stimulation {which by the way, you have to try for an absurdly long time} doesn't always work in inducing labor. {But keep in mind, it may aid you during labor, if it begins to slow down.}}, though you may find that some Braxton Hicks occur.
I've experienced preterm contractions in 4/6 pregnancies, but have never dilated, or effaced, because of them. I'm more concerned about the discomfort, and the fact that sometimes I start contracting and just don't stop! They don't do anything, but they're a pain in the uterus, for real.
If you are experiencing contractions that become regular and frequent {four or more an hour is usually the "rule"}, or become more painful over time and are accompanied with cramping, back pain or increased discharge, it's always a good idea to call your practitioner if you feel worried at all about it being "real" labor. Which is why the hospital and I are good buddies. Having never experienced real labor, I don't know what the hell it feels, or looks like.
They may wean anyway - as your body and diet change, your milk will do the same. The taste may differ, and you may produce a lot less over time. {I know the latter is true for me, because I can barely express anything when I try.} Some children don't care, or notice, but for others it may be the defining factor in whether they continue breastfeeding. It's all good.
They may get frustrated as nursing on your lap and finding space that isn't occupied by tummy becomes more difficult, and decide it's just not worth the hassle to find comfort {something Severus is struggling with a bit more recently}.
You will produce colostrum - I cried real tears after waking from a dream where I was in the hospital, tandem nursing new baby boy and Severus and the newbie kept screaming because he wasn't getting colostrum. The nurses kept coming in and out, trying to adjust his latch, trying to comfort him, and finally one of them stormed in and said "You were selfish! You didn't allow your body to make colostrum and now your baby is going to suffer because of it!" All the while Severus is nursing contentedly, as they take my new boy away and feed him formula instead and I wept and wept and wept.
{I don't believe that formula is the devil. Just want to make that known.}
But I realized that was something I'd never asked, and didn't know, so I looked it up. Will you produce colostrum for your new baby? Yes. Yes you will. Isn't your body amazing?!
Naturally, every experience is different. Some women may have no problems with pain, or Braxton Hicks, and some will receive the complete opposite of a hand.
If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask your doctor or midwife, and even if you don't have a ton - the look on their faces when you say "I have a few questions." and produce an extra long strip of paper out of your pocket is hilarious. I do this at every appointment with a new doctor - it helps me to gauge who has the time and patience to deal with me {so far only one has accepted my strip of paper without wincing, or hesitating, or rushing through answers}.
And if you ever need some encouragement, I'm here for you. Talk about how you're feeling when it's going rough, talk about how you're feeling when it's going well. Talk about your worries, talk about how awesome you feel, talk about how you're sure it's contributing to your own constipation, let's suffer these indignities and triumphs together. :)
Reader Comments (6)
Love that someone took the time to address this issue! Thank you!
Oh my goodness, I absolutely loved this post and tweeted it to another blogger who writes about breastfeeding that I adore.
While I don't have children of my own (not trying until all the university is finished up) I love reading about child raising and breastfeeding and the whole lot of it, and I see so many mothers who feel guilty about having to stop breastfeeding while pregnant with their 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th child, or even when their child chooses to wean themselves due to hormonal changes in the mother. What makes me more furious than anything is the 'mommy shaming' that many momma bloggers have to deal with.
I just wanted to tell you how educational this post was and how much I loved your open mindedness. I'll have to add you to my RSS feed. <3
I am really shocked to hear a midwife encouraged you NOT to breastfeed while pregnant. That is aggravating. Moms have so many things to over come, they don't need misinformation from midwives too. Good for you for staying brave!
I struggle with breastfeeding. It is my preferred method of feeding, but have had very little success producing enough milk. I've tried a number of things to increase milk production, including nursing more often, increasing protein in take and even herbal supplements ment to increase milk. Nothing worked and my kids were not gaining weight. I had to start supplementing them at 3-4 months to ensure they were healthy.
So anytime I see someone succeffully breastfeeding I am proud of them, and a little jealous. lol. but mostly proud and I commend you on not letting someone talk you into stopping before you were ready!
I didn't even realize you were still nursing... :)
Sebastian is still nursing, but I don't seem to have any milk anymore. I used to be able to hand express buckets and now I can't get a single drop. Wondering when my milk will come back in - such a weird feeling. Bass is happy to 'dry' nurse before sleep and rarely asks for it other than that.
A great post!
I would absolutely love for you to link it up at the Baby Shower, a linky party for all things pregnancy and new baby - Alice @ Mums Make Lists
http://mumsmakelists.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-friday-baby-shower-3.html