38 Weeks

{Kitteh and Iced T. at 37 weeks and 6 days.}

BY THE POWERS OF THE ULTIMO SUPER UNIVERSE {and my apparent "fortress" of a cervix} WE ARE 38 WEEKS ALONG TODAY AND T.SPOON IS THE SIZE OF A CELERY BUNCH! I DON'T GET THESE COMPARISONS!

Cool stuff happening {via BabyCenter}: Fatty chubs and mature effin' organs!

Mommy feels like: Oh. So. Ready. But. Way. Totally. Not. Even. Close.

Yesterday I had my first pre-op physical ever, my doctor discussed all of the risks involved with my Cesarean and I teared up. I teared up.

I don't know what it was about hearing -1% mortality rate and "in rare circumstances we may have to remove your uterus" that just made me all weepy inside, but it did and I was reminded; Baby.

I'm having a baby next week. NEXT WEEK!

Unless I go into spontaneous labor beforehand, which - pfffffft, most likely ain't happenin'. That's been proven, I've been home from the hospital for almost an hour. 

I've decided that unless my water breaks, T. is crowning or I'm half dead - I am keeping myself at home until pre-admission testing on the 9th. I refuse to step foot in that hospital otherwise, it has become such a tiresome back and forth.

If I spend more time there I'm going to have to make a bigger basket for the nurses!

Every day I go through the motions, so ready to have this baby - the pain is intense, the exhaustion is overwhelming, my patience is thin.

But I made it to 37 weeks, I made it out of April when I bet everyone I wouldn't, I swore I wouldn't make it to May 10th the day it was scheduled and now I'm determined to keep proving myself wrong and have a baby on May 10th! It's the ultimate Aries competition and I WIN EITHER WAY!

With Mercutio's big 5th birthday on the 5th, it's going to be an interesting month. I feel May forever will be, and I have finally made peace with that. 

Craving: Everything that remotely resembles food.

Names the children have suggested {they are so tired of me asking this question}: Bibbins, Squirrel, Muffin Bot, Baby Rinky Doo, Jellypish, Frasier, Molly.

37 WEEKS!

{One week ago precisely.}

WE ARE GO FOR TERM LAUNCH and T.Cup is now the size of a leek! Wait. What? A leek? I don't get it either but who cares!?! TERM!

Cool stuff happening {via BabyCenter}: We are now considered "full term", which is funny to me, wouldn't 40 weeks be "full" term instead? I'm not too worried about these minor details because WE. MADE. IT. We made the minimum goal and every single moment that we hang on longer is a massive frickin' bonus! There's also something about him being the weight of a small watermelon, and hair, and chubblets, but whatever, man - TERM!

Mommy feels like: Hysterical and rather demented.

All these weeks of back and forth in the hospital, as recently as Monday night where the nurse tripped over my IV cord four damn times, causing it to bleed out a little and even left a bruise. All this "Your cervix is closed" just sounded like "5ever pregnant" and it started to devastate me.

I cried so hard the other night that they heard me down the hall. So tired of all of this, in agonizing pain, I just selfishly wanted it all to be over. Right now. Right this second. Just someone hand me a scalpel and I'll figure it out!

But of course, I got home feeling tremendously grateful for the extra time my little guy gets to grow and angry at myself for ever wanting otherwise. Now, I can want him to arrive guilt free, hahaha! :P

No, now I'm just glad to know that the chances of his lungs not being mature are slim, and even though due dates are estimates and ultrasounds are frequently wrong - I have not been led to believe that we are not on the track that has been provided. He has grown on target for what is supposed to be our due date and I can only hold out most hope for that. 

First term baby since Caesar! Not near term like Mercutio and Severus. Term.

The next goal is our Cesarean date. While I am saddened at Mercutio, who has so little that is his very very own, having to share a birth month with a sibling, I hope we can get to that date of May 10th.

I don't trust my instincts at all anymore because I've heard so many conflicting reports on the state of my cervix that I don't know what to take into account when I make my own assessments. I'm just going with it now, I should have been before, but definitely today - I'm not trying to jump off the rollercoaster before it stops when and where it is supposed to.

I could cry. I forced myself to stay awake until midnight to see it all change over, publish this by hand, to breathe a deep sigh, do the smallest happy jig.

What a wild ride. 

Oh yeah, speaking of which - I'm on bedrest again, between the last hospital visit and my family staging an activity intervention I have been forced to take the week off of strenuous activity. I'm trying to do my best.

Craving: Glazed doughnuts, a McFlurry with M&Ms.

Names the children have suggested: Baby Ry Ry, Froggy McHoppumbums, Chum, Funny Baby, Teddy Bear. It always makes me giggle a little when they suggest names with "baby" attached, they're in just as much denial as I am about the whole growing up process!

36 Weeks

{Baby's napping bassinet! A little less horrible than it was before.}

THIRTY SIX WEEKS, T.Wiz is the size of a coconut! I don't get it either! Wasn't he just a honeydew, and isn't that bigger!? Exclamation points!

Could this be my final pregnancy update? Let's hope not. I have seven more days until term and I am absolutely determined to make it. Determined, I say!

Cool stuff happening {via BabyCenter}: Okay, not cool at all, but he's in the womb sucking back on peach fuzz and vernix, which will become his first poop! That sticky tar-like substance that looks pretty terrifying. Still putting on some pudge and gearing up for expulsion!

Mommy feels like: EXCLAMATION POINTS!

Mercutio was born at 36, 2 and Severus was born at 36, 5. I was minimally dilated both times, and it's very likely that I will follow the trend and be delivered sometime this week.

Did you see that? THIS WEEK!

While my back sighs in relief, my brain is adamant - "NOPE! Term. We're going to make it to term because that's the minimal safe zone." As of this past Saturday, my cervix hadn't changed, so we'll just have to wait and see how it goes.

I'd been feeling really weird about this day in particular for a while, and all day yesterday I'd felt contractions and cramping that were uncomfortable, but by 10pm they'd finally settled a little. I'm pretty sure we're in the clear!

I can't believe we're here already. Even my mom says she's not ready, it happened so quickly. Will we be welcoming our son this week? Will he hold out until his scheduled birth date? My goodness, the suspense is titillating, and annoying!

I'd spent another weekend at the hospital, and came home feeling an irresistible urge to do something. So I hit the Baby's room, swept it out, removed that horrific bumper and halo from his bassinet, loaded his diapers and inserts in the storage underneath and got craftical!

His space is so limited that we don't have room for a whole lot of big items. We'd been looking into wall storage options, shelves and so on, but haven't been able to find a lot of options that we liked and would work. 

The boys' old bunk bed has been dismantled for ages, and will not be put back together again, so I took their ladder, painted it black to match his bassinet, and BAM! A small, decorative storage space for his books and special toys. To the left, though you can't see it, are letters I roughly cut out spelling his name, that Caesar painted for his bedroom. They don't match a thing, but he really wanted to do something special for his Baby so this was our together idea. Mercutio would like to contribute something too, so I want to get him a canvas to paint on to hang near the letters. 

What a remarkable journey this pregnancy has been. I am so very anxious to meet my son.

Craving: Cocoa pebbles, strawberry yogurt, beef stew.

Names the children have suggested: Littlefoot, Cutesy Bot, Coconutty Baby, Johnny, Haverford II.